Care Tonight

You had kind eyes
The ones that held the love and wisdom to teach a boy
Teach him that there is love everywhere
Even when he doesn't feel it
And when he cries
He could always turn to see that someone is there

I like those eyes

You have red eyes
The ones that scream in pain while tears blister
Your voice trembles over the dinner table
As you scratch your way back to bed
Because everything hurts you now

I miss your eyes

You have everything
And I hate myself for not even realizing that someday
You won't be there to smile with me

And that someday could be tomorrow


I'm not ready to stop smiling

Stoplight Roulette

I'll the know the world is ending
When I hear your voice in the radio
Emitting the lies that I once held so dear to my heart
Transmitting the words that deteriorate us

I'll gamble my life
With the barrel of a revolver in my mouth
Before I give it to you again

Drown

There is something romantic about not breathing
Unconscious intimacy dwelling on the dark side of dreams
As close to understanding what little we know as we will get
As truth and shallow worlds and hydrogen and oxygen wave over me

I want to see the blue turn into black
Send my nightmares and hopes to the bottom of the sea
Wash away what writings I tend to leave on the surface
And scrape the etchings of time away from the charred remains of renovation

I want to stop breathing
Stop the warm, consistent flow to know why I was brought here
Not have the burden of the sensation of weight of any sort among me
But just drifting down into the ocean, clear and black in harmony

Shared Documents

My eyes turn back
Search the inner electric synapses of my brain
Find out the plug is short circuiting my hardware
Stinging pulsation of volts shock my memory

Push to remember

I used to worship God
I taught myself how to write out of hate for the pencil grip
I had a multitude of imaginary friends that consistently moved away
I never lost a football game against myself in the backyard
I planted the maple tree at the corner of the fence

The maple tree is still there, but it is not mine
The backyard I used to conquer is now someone else's stadium
The friends have moved away and are in imaginary high school
The handwriting is sloppy and uneven because of the incorrect finger placement
And I find nothing in the word of God

Declaration of War

I want you to scream insecurities
Beg and plead to hear the words we once portrayed on canvas
Because one day, these words will go to waste
Buried before our corpses touch the casket
My last breath is less anticipated than my last word

One day, desolate deserts of despair will become the majority of the Earth
As our water decays and fades away into the ozone
Turn to toxins and venom after the contamination from my stabbing words
And rain hate all over the city you are in
So that not only will you be consumed in the rapture of regret
But you will watch the buildings you touched be purged of your recollection

I hope you feel as every memory burns and dissipates into nothing
Not even air
As that is still sustainable through the art of breathing
I hope the rain drowns and suffocates you
So that you will black out in the collapsing scene of this film
And wake up in the next scene in the credits
Far away from the public view
And be forced to watch the words escape the page
And watch you scrape at the screen to take them back

I want you to be corroded by the edge of my declaration of war
Let the wishes of the words and verbs take you away
As those are all we have left to fight our battles with

Challenge Her

The world is going down
Sinking into the black oblivion of the universe
Magnitude outplays longitude
Can you read our depth by the constellations?
How deep are we in?
When will we meet again?
When will we hit the dense bottom of the founding of life itself?
If cities on Earth are burning
Who is out there to keep us turning?
Suddenly nothing matters
The history we have made
The progress compiled
So minuscule in the grand scheme
Never have the stars looked so big
We can see the breath pulsate and resonate off of the light
The steel skeletons of the corporations are nothing now but dust
Even through the end, survival is not a must
Predestination makes no sense
We are destined to die

Unlocked

Low key
Slowly
Lead fills me up to my forehead
Help me from falling
Can't keep it up
I'll end up asleep on the floor

Don't help me
Leave me here
I can do it on my own
I swear
No need to kneel