"I hope you had the time

of your life"

I'm not putting the song up here. You know it. I know it. Only more sad smiles of acceptance will come of it.

I was driving back home from Jamba Juice when it happened. We have satellite radio in the car, so there are hundreds of channels of specific genres of music. The station I always listen to is grunge and 90's rock. I was just a street or so away from home when Good Riddance came on, and I felt like dropping my mom and sister off and going to an empty space to just cry. I haven't listened to that song all the way through since I sang it at our 8th grade promotion ceremony. That moment suddenly was all that my mind was focused on.

It really got me thinking. Where would I be without what I learned in 8th grade? I looked down at my seat and said in my head, "You could very well not be where you are at this second without it". It was huge. All of my Mr. Reed moments came to mind and the moments when my squad finally had realized we aren't all that different. It was literally overwhelming. I realized that I have impacted so many peoples lives. There are of course my peers who have never let me forget how I affected them, but then I remembered I was a counselor. All the kids in my squads really wanted to learn from me. They all wanted to hear what I had to say and how I wasn't much different from them. Although only one of the two squads I watched over really got the lesson, both really grew. The first time I went up (the weekend of my birthday), we had done the diversity walk, where everyone stands in a large circle and someone reads off a list, and if you identify with what the speaker said, you walk to the middle of the circle, face the people beside you, then face the outside, then walk back. I remember at the beginning when all of the kids were laughing and kidding around and doing what they normally would...but by the end of it...there wasn't any of that. I remember one of the kids in my squad specifically. He seemed like the kids that was in school to make the others smile, as if he never had a wrong to frown about. He was extremely short and an overall good kid. When his squad mates saw him crying, they knew that there was something more serious to worry about. All of those kids looked up to me to show them that lesson-the brutally honest lesson that we are not to be segregated and put down. All of the kids seemed to look up to me. They felt so comfortable with me that when they found out it was my birthday, all of them started to crowd around me in the dining hall singing happy birthday, then all tackled me. I mean everyone. Kids I didn't get the chance to talk to were taking their time to show me that they cared.

The second time I went, the squad got it. I know they did. Our first discussion was so intricate that we were late to dinner because of our sharing. Those kids were great. They were all so eager to hear my stories and for me to listen to theirs and know that I was listening seemed like a god send for them. They all welcomed me and the other counselor like a part of their squad. We even had two teachers come by to our discussions because they heard that ours got so deep and intimate that they wanted to see and share with us. That is how well we led our discussions: teachers and adults wanted to see how we handled it and how we connected with the kids. Wait...we had a total of three adults I think. The new L.A. teacher, the T.A., and the new science teacher.

To be completely honest, this is it for my blogging tonight. Too much to comprehend for one night.