"I'll never let them hurt you

I promise"



I didn't finish the first half of reflect. I said I was going to push to, but to be honest, I didn't let myself. I actually got positively distracted. I did a bit of art and collected ideas for the book. Honestly, all the brainstorming I did satisfies me. I've pretty much got the entire first half of the book planned out, along the majority of planning done for the second half. I've also written a couple of pages from it, but not in the order I need. From what I have done though, I'm confident in the rest of it.

Updating is going to be much slower now that 1.) I am back in school, and 2.) I broke my laptop. Yes, I finally pushed it too far. I knew there was something wrong with it, and decided that I know how to fix computers and took it apart, only to find out later that a part of the laptop that wont come off when disassembled is the monitor cord, which I somehow damaged. The actual laptop isn't broken, but the screen has 2/3s of it in blank white, and the small portion at the top is still visible. I am now connecting my laptop to an external monitor and lucky for me, I'm missing the AC cable. So I borrowed my sister's cable from her computer for the night.

Break is now over, and it is the final quarter of this year. I always used to look at it as a football game in elementary school. I guess it isn't as easy as that anymore. With the next few AIMS sessions, cramming for finals, and every damned reading quiz in between, the last thing I need is to leave for a week and a half right before finals. I know that Disneyworld and the cruise and all of that will be great and fun and every other adjective describing joyous. But in reality, that week is just another week that I'll be missing essential crap in school. And the time couldn't be worse. End of April to beginning of May. Right when most of my classes will begin a year's review. I'm going to get all the work early and do it before I leave, but at the same time, as I am running around the deck of the ship with whatever other teens happen to be there, school is going to be haunting my mind.

This past week has been great, though. A lot has been realized and said in the current situation, and I'm pretty sure that this time the decision was made honestly. We both came to realize that what happened ultimately happened, but in the midst of it brought us back together. With it happening, it gave me the gall and the commitment to find the problem, make a plan to solve it, and go through with it. I've done all of that. On the emotional side of it, it has shown us the opposite side of the spectrum, and we don't like it. It showed us how much both of us actually care about each other and how we wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't something important. This all sounds like complete bullshit to the bottomfeeders who might still (but really shouldn't if they do) care. Oh well. They don't know. Bottom line is right there before their eyes.

I got a present from my dad for Valentine's Day (family thing. I tend to get little bitsy gifts for the bitsy holidays i.e.Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Easter)

Side Note:
I find it kinda funny how I actually get legitimate gifts for Easter. A few years back, I got a digital camera on a holiday that I couldn't care less about/beleive in. With Christmas, fine. I see it as much more of a family up-bringing than Easter. But damn! Really? Also, money too. If I recall, fifty to a hundred dollars for Jesus Zombie Day. But then again, the suppliers of the gifts are Catholic, so that day just means a lot to them. Not enough for me to go to church, that is for cereal.

Anyway, the book is called "Wooden" and to my dismay have not started reading it yet, All the time in the world and reading really didn't captivate me. But the book is coming with me to school now until I finish it. I often have little periods of time in a few classes that I find myself daydreaming in, so I can actually have something to do. That is what I did with "Fight Club" for a while.

I've watched That 70's Show for quite a while now (asking backup from my dad: How many times would you either come home to me watching it or me attempting to kick the boys from Cyberchase to watch it?) and have noticed something very important. TV is really not a way to model a situation. For people who state that they are becoming Ross and Rachael or an Eliot and J.D. (God, I hate Scrubs. Shoot me now, I know. I am basically the only person who doesn't find it funny, but I don't) is not healthy. I really hope that people don't do it, but I know that there are people who do. Really...people who go through the things that they do in That 70's Show don't continue to meet in the same basement everyday.

I've gotten a good amount of crap out for a solid post. I've decided that by the end of the school year, reflect will be finished, I'm going to have more art, and actually record. That last one is a biggie. I've been saying that for almost a year now, and I really need to. Oh well. It'll happen. At least one song.

OHMAN!
Forget about finishing there!

WHABAM!
Some guy who could afford a video camera in the speck of PA that I call my hometown decided to videotape random crap around the Sharon area.
Stop the video at 0:08.
There are two place mats. The one at the top of the screen is my official spot. Mine. Reserved. That place is my seat. Ask my father, my grandfather, anyone else in my family, and hell, even the bartender Lou (shes great).
The place is called the Quaker Steak and Lube as a parody of an auto shop, and has been a part of my life since I was a mere child.
That place has so many of my most heartfelt memories, and I am going to type as many as I can remember now.

My spot came to be when I attended a Bike Nite at the establishment. The whole place would sponsor a night where all the local bikers (As in motorcycle) would gather and park and have an overall good time. It was customary, however, to look the part. So many many people wearing their leather vests and gloves and bandannas. My grandfather happened to had recently purchased a Harley and wanted to attend (not our first time, but first Bike Nite). I was wearing a bandanna that my grandfather had bought me, and when it came time to eat we headed to the bar. Pennsylvania law states that kids can sit at the bar accompanied by an adult, so I was allowed to sit with them. That was when I met Lou. She became my friend after a devastating mistake on my behalf.

The Lube (as I call it) is famous and most widely known for their wings. If I can remember, something along the lines of 22 or something close to 30 types of sauce and all were aligned on a hotness scale. I usually ordered Arizona Ranch, which became a bit of irony for me. At the top of the scale was the Atomic sauce, which isn't even a sauce. To make it, the people in the kitchen have to leave and there is this huge process into making this damned sauce to go on a few lousy wings. The sauce is so hot that above the entrance to the bar, there are packets of paper that are labeled Atomic Survivors, meaning they ate the wing. Back to Lou.

My grandfather decided it would be funny to order an Atomic wing. A few if I recall. I was enjoying my wings and reached in for another. I took a bite, and I suddenly felt as if I poured some combination of battery acid and lighter fluid on my tongue. So my grandfather starts laughing and I am on the verge of tears when Lou gives me a shot glass of chocolate sauce. After about three more, the hurt went away.

The next time we came, I sat in my spot again, and she looked at me in this odd way. She recognized me, but wanted to poke fun at it, asking, "Where the hell is your bandanna?" Ever since then, that has been my spot.

School tomorrow. I want to share more, but I know that Calo's quiz is going to bite me in the ass if I don't get any sleep. Sometime this week I'll get around to it.