Televators

Freaking amazing

I'm falling in love with them even more
I'm so glad that I got back into them

"Who are you to

wave your finger?"



Something that really pisses me off is when people talk when it isn't their place
I can understand when they make a mistake of talking about someone
It has been a mistake of mine and others mistake it being about them
That's fine

But when you bring up a topic that I know I have more experience or knowledge in
That pisses me off

Talking about a band I have listened to longer than you and had been particularly influenced by as if I have no clue what they are talking about is just stupid

As much as I will say it
It will go ignored
Words can be written however you intend them to be
But not always will they be understood that way

Key example
Our honors english curriculum
What do you think the author meant when they named the character Monday?
(Answer is he sucks)
People always find it helpful to adapt something to their situation
Even if totally not related

Why do girls love the song "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder?
It is about a guy not being honest about his feelings
But women seem to love that song
(My father will back me up on this)

So, when the song says "Who are you to wave your finger?"
It is clearly talking about the government's death-grip on showing the negative effects of pot
But who is to say that it can't adapt?
Like someone who obviously is trying to play it off as if they aren't involved

Just a bit of thought
For the one challenging me in a battle of art
Back off
Because this is something that I do have a common knowledge of
Even if I don't take part in the activities many bands endorse


Oh
Okay
Speaking of that
I am also fed up with this "I love the Beatles" bullshit
Isn't it a little convenient that this all happened directly after the release of Across the Universe?

I'm not crazy about the Beatles
I love them to death for bringing the outrage they felt about certain customs and the experiences they dealt with and bring them into lyrics
But all the people who are suddenly Beatles fans really piss me off
And not the ones who were aware that the Beatles made a huge impact on the music community with their coming to America to play on the Ed Sullivan Show in '64
The ones who can sing the words to Strawberry Fields Forever and not Give Peace A Chance


Recently I have adapted this radical state of mind
No more allowing people to get away with shit
It is not going to be that way anymore

I'm hoping I get get my hands on some random pieces that I can use all of this for in an art project or something
I have quite a few ideas actually
And I need to put them into action soon



I'm going to be doing a blog about evolution, war, and all the things I beleive in that won't change tomorrow
So
Religion
Social Behavior
Those are the main two

"Please don't go now

Please don't fade away"


Except for the beginning made by the poster
This is amazing

And lately this song is becoming more and more relevant each day
And this live version is just beautiful



I did a painting with my old enamel paints from my figurine days
It is alright
Very simple though

I am looking too forward to spring break
I am not liking school right now
I'm going to be pushing myself to finish part one of reflect and design a cover
Everytime I think of the story
I see it as a movie
And it makes me very excited



Shower and School
I'll probably do a real blog tonight

Waiting

is excruciating


"The ocean prays for his demise
But I swear to you
I watched his heart pump blood into those veins
Throwing punches
At ocean waves"


That's all I have to do
Keep throwing punches

I don't know what to say

except for I should have seen this coming

I couldn't see it coming because it came from nowhere
I still don't completely understand


Oh well

"I have slept inside your fault

to have you keep me here on this leash"

I always come across songs that I wish I had written lyrics to
Not even that they explain something I have experienced
But something I would love to be able to get across and say to someone else through the poetic process of song
Like Goliath for example

"Give me that corpse please,
The one I tore nightly,
I really want it now"

Chorus
Not very detailed
Very figurative

I think it is small stuff like this that really pushes me from staying formal in my writing
In poetry, I tend to either use free form and not rhyme
Or use a slightly altered pentameter for rhyme schemes
And I really try to push the imagery and figurative thought
Because that is just my way of getting it out there

I'm just not good at doing a chapter by chapter story and slowly allow characters to show development and a problem eventually being solved



I got my new phone
It is great
Same number
I now have texting, so text away
Its unlimited
It is also purple
Gotta smile there


I am currently working on my basic rip off of Crank
I hate to say it that way
But seriously
It is
Book that shows progression like a story through the form of little tid bits of poems

Also, in my off time from that
I am working on a poem that I will probably finish before anything else
Going with my little re-discovery of Goliath, it is dealing with counterparts and how one is who they are based off of the other




This song always makes me think back
I absolutely love it

Another song I wish I wrote

"These bones are mere accessories"
Talk about powerful
And
"Throwing punches at ocean waves"
Not just struggling to get out
Fighting
It's little shit like that
That really makes me think and inspired to write with those tendencies




Tired
Off to write
Will post if I finish tonight
If not
Tomorrow



And I leave a certain someone with these lyrics:
"And as the tides retreat
I see the smile you see today
To own a heart that's half of yours
These bones are mere accessories"

"If you want to play it like a game,

Well come on, come on, let's play"

It is pretty much over


I've been focusing on the guitar a little more this week
Rather than poetry or my stories
I sat down and learned Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer
But I play it as the New Found Glory version


I saw a kid wearing a Purple Parrots shirt in the library the other day
I was very jealous

If you don't know, the Purple Parrots were one of the 6 teams on Legends of the Hidden Temple on Nickelodeon in the 90's
There was a giant talking stone head on the show named Olmec
And he would tell a legend and how it is relevant to the events on the show
And each of the teams would have to compete in events to make it to the last stage
Which was this huge temple with a relic from the legend that Olmec had told
And if you wanted the grand prize
You had to recover the relic without being captured by the guardians

The Purple Parrots never won
Hahaha


I forgot how much I loved the post-hardcore and more edgy almost garage sounding bands
There is something about that nitty gritty tone that pulls me in
Like...raw emotion being pushed through an amp
I hate music you can play casually
Which might explain why I don't like most classic rock

Note:
I said that I don't like most classic rock. It isn't that I do not respect them or hate on them. I couldn't do that. I owe it to them for rock to be where it is now and for it to have progressed into what I play and turn my feelings into. It is just hard for me to write a song, write music to it, and not put energy into it. If I put my heart into the lyrics, and my soul into the music, there is no reason for me to not give everything when I play it.

This weekend should be good
Movie (a-la "date" with Ashley :D)
Ordering and looking at my new phone

HUGE NEWS:
I AM FINALLY GETTING TEXTING BACK!
:D

The phone is great
It is one where the screen slides to reveal a keyboard
And
It is purple and black

Can't beat it


Hopefully some more Left 4 Dead with Andrew
We had a blast (ha ha ha ha oh hee hee haw haw...and I thought my jokes were bad) playing it
It is such a great game
So entertaining
Vivid

Rawr




Mmmmm
Talk about energy


The Mars Volta - Goliath via Noolmusic.com

I think more bands need wizards

Hand That Needs (12/9/08)

You tear down what God has created for you
Only to shed it on the unaware or uninterested
You donate paper of no value to the poor
Stating he all you need to be happy
But if one does not grasp what you preach
Do you still offer a hand that does not belong to God?
A hand willing to put aside the inevitable death
And what idea of where you go after the sand has fallen
But rather a hand that is all powerful, omnipotent in all
Understanding of the unimportant overlord who demands praise
A hand that will help willingly and gladly without prediction
That will feel free to give help without expectation or desire
To do well except for the satisfaction of living well

If heaven and God will not accept one who does well
If I were to ascend, I would call it my Hell

Ten 'o Clock Tuesday

Actually it is Ten o' One
But Ten 'O Clock Tuesday sounds like a good band name

So
My main reason for coming into this post is another pictorial adventure
I think each one is going to tell a little bit either about a past experience of mine or more about my family


This one is a family one again


So
First examine Example A.

This is my father, Todd, about a year ago
He was pushing past 200 pounds
He will probably comment saying the exact weight (hint hint)
Bottom line
Not all too good







Let us examine Example B.









BAM!
I mean, all that progress in just a year
Dropping the potentially life threatening weight and turning it into...what?
2 percent body fat?


Yeah, that's my dad
Go ahead
Bask in it
It's the truth
This scrawny pale lanky teenager has a Brad Pitt remake from Troy as a father

Like father like son is not a quote to describe our body image
I will say that



While he was younger, he did a lot of art
Art was to my dad as poems are to me

I wish I had a picture of one of his pieces from his high school years
But sadly, I don't

It would be awfully nice of him to leave one in a comment if he were to have one, though


When I had said that I was proud of my step mom using a creative outlet, I said another family member
He used to (and still does part time....I think?) graphic design
Taking something that you are good at and like doing and get paid for it
Bross family dream, basically


I had a great picture of my step mom somewhere on my computer from a few summers ago before she started writing...
I really wish I could find it

This makes me very upset
It was my special mom picture

Speaking of which, I can't find my bicycle helmet pictures with the bus either
So much for special child stories


I've had this idea for a story that involves a person with an increased state of multiple personality disorder
Where he will eavesdrop and hear a conversation that isn't his because he is sort of outcasted among his peers, and although he is a very calm and kept to self person, his head will urge him to say something horrible in response
Such as:
"I was watching the Biggest Loser last night..."
"You should be participating, not watching. Maybe that is why you are not invited to parties and dances"
And at one point, his alter state of mind begins to get the best of him, and he begins to act on his other personality
And things lead to him changing both mentally and physically
Until he gets fed up with hurting people through the unintentional and sub conscience thought process and has to find a way to battle it out


I've also started this one story
It's called Reflect
I'll post it when I finish
But it is about a guy who has this re-occurring trauma of his denial of his life falling through
And the trauma is triggered every time he looks in the mirror
Because the mirror speaks back to him
So every time he has to face himself, his self will face him back and push him into taking action and accepting that it was his fault
And will not leave him to peace until he accepts it and acts on it

I swear that I am slowly butchering the idea of conventional literature
I am never going to sit down and write a normal book or story
And I am completely fine with it
But all of them are somehow going to take in the form of a poem
It seems easier for me to release a character or situation when I can let words flow freely and not be bound by sentence fluency or character development
Because the imagery and representation of them will advance throughout the stories


Unfortunately, I must go be bound by sentence fragment
Because I have to write the second half of my essay on the Meiji Period in Japan



Tom Cruise has problems

"If you want to play poor me

Prepare to die at open sea"

Just a little tidbit from my latest piece
I'm not sure if it is a poem or song yet
I guess you'll see, seeing as how I won't be posting songs

Yeah, I don't really like that

Went to sleep at 1 this morning
It seems the more I tell myself to sleep, the more I find a way to stay awake

Interesting Fact:
My meds are known as neurostimulants, and an interesting fact about me taking them is that caffeine doesn't have a stimulant effect on me anymore. Because of the constant stimulation my brain is receiving through the meds, things like my favorite drink in the entire world (Coca-Cola...I know. It's bad. It eats away at your body and soul and can deteriorate solid concrete...) at 11 at night and still have the capability to sleep normally.

Woke up and went to school
And here is where I began to lose interest in writing these so long ago
I was so tired of reading and writing, "I woke up...blah blah...went to school"
So in order to maintain my focus of doing this
I am going to point out at least one interesting thing about my day

Although not necessarily interesting, it dawned upon me that some people just can't accept something that doesn't go their way
And it seems of utmost stupidity that someone could say that it isn't their place to talk, but do the following:
Complain like hell
Escalate to a physical manner
Shouting biased and opinionated curses
Showing non verbal hate
Spreading the story that isn't theirs
or
Spreading the story that has been revised to meet bottom feeder standards so gossip will favor in their name

Doesn't make sense
I don't walk into your house and take away your bible because I don't think what you should do about your life will be answered through it
Don't walk into my life just because you know the person involved

Main Idea:
Just because you know the person involved doesn't mean you are involved


Sudden realization of the effects of procrastination
I'll post later tonight with another random one

Non Poterat Dicere (2/16/09)

You speak
As if you know first hand
As if you were the contender

You speak
As if someone believes you experienced it
As if your pain is accountable for this

You speak
As if I were playing a game with it
As if I move my pawns against the rooks for sport

You speak
As if you are wisest among wise
As if you your run in was a prediction of this

You speak
As if someone is listening to your complaints
As if someone were to think that you are the inflicted

You speak
As if someone cares to hear your story in shallow water
As if your words will convert these loving sentinels from stone

You speak
As if the words that run out of your mouth are making a fucking difference
As if the breath you waste with your bitching will draw away from those I take

You speak
As if time has stopped for you to make a stand against something that isn’t yours
As if God has bent the rules of forgiveness in your honor to smite me

You speak
As if time and realization is not something that phases me
As if I am as hollow as the words you speak out against me with

Well
Find a way back to your home
Go running back or be pushed by all
But this isn’t your home to speak in

Random Memory

I am going to start doing this thing where I post a random memory that comes to mind. I feel that if you are reading this, you somewhat care about what I have to say, so these memories should be just another thing of mine for you to read and smile (or not) about.

This one started when I was reading my AP issue. AP is the title of a music magazine, otherwise known as Alternative Press. I was looking at the upcoming album releases and saw a band called The O's. This immediately triggered a memory from back home.

In downtown Pittsburgh, there is a place called The O. It stands for The Original. It is a restaurant that is very popular among the college students in the area (specifically from what I remember, Carnegie Mellon and University of Pitt). It is this small, almost apartment looking building. When you walk in, everything screams fat fried, greasy tables, and cheap receipts. I remember it being one of my favorite places in Pittsburgh.

Like most small college town restaurants, The O had a specialty. Although it was known as a Hot Dog hut, I recall their fries being their main business. They were fried, long cut, and often had melted cheese on them. Along with the food, I remember there being an electronic dart board in it. This was a family sort of thing. Both my dad and my mom were both very good at darts in college (possibly how they met? I can remember a greasy fry vendor and not my parents place of starting relationship). My dad was always a good sport about helping me out in the game. You had to throw the dart hard enough to get caught in the plastic pegs that were the representation of the scoring area, but soft enough that it wouldn't bounce off. He somehow simultaneously held me up to the height of the board with one arm, then helped aim and guide my hand with the other.

I haven't been to The O in so long...I'm not even sure if it is still in business.

Going with memories of Pittsburgh, I once stayed the night at the Carnegie Museum.

Wait.
Back up.
Whenever I speak of Pittsburgh, you are going to see that I talk alot about this guy Carnegie. So let's get that out of the way.
Andrew Carnegie was a Scottish immigrant who settled in Pittsburgh and became a famous "rags to riches" story.
I'll make this as brief as possible.
In Pittsburgh, there is steel. A lot of steel. Pittsburgh basically is resting on a bed of it to get the picture across.
Carnegie built the Carnegie Steel Company, which eventually merged with another steel manufacturing company to create U.S. Steel. U.S. Steel is now the 7th largest steel export company in the world.
Carnegie made a lot of money.
He wanted to put his money to good use, so he founded the Carnegie Corporation of New York, the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, and Carnegie Mellon University.
He made money.
Second richest person ever.
Everyone loved it.
Carnegie Hall in New York is named after him, towns are, a children's book award is, and a natural history museum is.

The Carnegie Museum of Natural History is located in Pittsburgh, and was holding an event celebrating the new dinosaur exhibit being opened. The event was Sleepover at the Carnegie. You would bring your little sleeping bags and pillows, find a place in the museum to sleep, then wake up and be the first to see the exhibit. My dad knew I loved dinosaurs, so he signed up and we went. I remember us creating a board game, a night guided tour, and a continental breakfast. You were supposed to sleep next to one of the animal exhibits. Most of the kids got all of the good ones, so we ended up sleeping next to sheep or wild goats. Then the next morning, one of the employees turned on one of the robotic animatronic dinosaurs and woke us up with the roar installed on it.

The actual exhibit seemed pretty small, but I really didn't care.


Dinosaurs were cool, man.

Music Prospect: Attack Attack

Holy shit...
Epitomize my musical influences: Check

Attack Attack is this Screamo/Electro band from Columbus, Ohio. They are basically everything I have ever wanted from a band.
1. They combine musical styles in all the members. The vocals go from screams and growls like Enter Shikari to the Auto-Tuner vocals shared by All Time Low and T-Pain. The song Stick Stickly goes from genre to genre in the rock category, branching out into screamo, metalcore, post-hardcore, trancecore, pop punk, and everything in between.
2. Any rock band that can use techno/trance beats automatically gets a place in my heart. I love the way that bands are taking splices of things that they like and can pump up a crowd and put it in a song they wrote with all the aggression and passion that would already be felt by the band.
3. Those lyrics are straight from the heart. They are very influenced and proud of their Christian beliefs and are not afraid to show it. It is people and bands like that I have undying respect for. Being able to spill your heart and fight for what you beleive is something I always respect. These lyrics are nothing less of the constant power and love they feel and retain from their belief.


The reason I like most screamo bands is because of the energy they put into all of it. The recordings, the videos, the live shows, all of it require more energy than usual. When blessthefall was shooting their video for Guys Like You Make Us Look Bad (In Pennsylvania, might I add), the original singer Craig Mabbit was hit in the face with the head stock of a guitar when the guitarist was pushing the guitar. Mabbit was jumping around, then suddenly he is on the ground bleeding. It later showed that he broke some teeth because of the hit. A band I saw live once was tuning up, and the singer had said, "Look at this. My guitarist is bleeding all over his guitar for you." He had cut his finger on one of the strings while playing. Bands like that just give me chills because of their love of it, and Attack Attack seems to epitomize it.

If you are into this sorta scene, on my scale of Dump (do not bother listening to), Download (worth listening to, not worth the money), or Demand (worth the listen, worth the money), I would say Download. Don't get me wrong, it is a great band with great songs, but it is something you would expect from most screamo bands. The style they choose is very different from most bands, but once you have listened to one of their songs, it is very easy to tell what the next will sound like based on it.

If you like Attack Attack, and would like more music like it, check out Enter Shikari, The Devil Wears Prada, and A Skylit Drive.

Coraline (Review)

Besides already knowing what happens and having seen what Henry Selick had done to James and the Giant Peach, I wasn't excited to see the movie.
To be completely honest, I just went because I wanted something to do.

I left the theater feeling a little more awake...but that is about it.

When I first saw the trailer for the movie, immediately I thought:
Okay. More push on the gothic twist of film. We've had Nightmare, James, and now this. Alongside it, Burton has been pushing films like the Spartans did to the Persians in 300 in the scene where the Persian army meets it's demise when forced off of a cliff or onto the spear of a Spartan. Since Nightmare, Burton has done Batman Forever (Yuck. Did not care for. A List Actors. Great Producer. Apparently when mixed, you get spandex and overacting), James and the Giant Peach (my hatred with this movie is a story within itself...a story for another day), Sleepy Hollow, Planet of the Apes, Big Fish (Not my cup of tea. Sorry to say it, but just wasn't into it), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (which I loved. Depp did an amazing job of Wonka, and did his best to meet the bar and standard that Wilder set), Corpse Bride, and Sweeny Todd.

Side Note:
Burton has more movies in progress. His take on Alice in Wonderland will be riviting, with Depp as the Mad Hatter, Anne Hathaway (The Princess Diaries series, Brokeback Mountain, Get Smart) as the White Queen, Helena Bonham Carter (Fight Club, Sweeny Todd, Corpse Bride) as the Red Queen, Alan Rickman (Snape from the Harry Potter Series) as the Caterpillar, Michael Sheen (who I have loved in all I have seen him in, being The Four Feathers, the Underworld series, and the Crichton film adaptation of Timeline) as the Cheshire Cat...all seems too good to be a Batman Forever Flunk. He is also directing a remake of his own film Frankenweenie...but enough of that.

Anywho, with all of that rushing through my mind, I immedietely said, "This needs to be made in live action"

Hello?
If there were any way to make it more appealing as a gothic twist on a story, having the actual sight of a real person being taken to a new world with wonders to make them stay should have been a no brainer. Talk about terror when the buttons come into play.

Well, I am going to do a compliment sandwhich (thank you Stewie).
Two good things about the movie, Four bad things that need improving, then Two good things to wrap it up.

1. The Story was very well re-written for the screen adaptation. I wish more people would do this. Gaiman, the author of Coraline, was the one who re-wrote it, giving the author the power to make sure that his story isn't being butchered by Hollywood money grubbers.
2. The film was long enough to establish key points. Many movies that are based off of books tend to cut out or very briefly address huge problems that took place in the novel to focus on more things that will interest the audience. Coraline was an hour and fourty minutes, a well allotted time period for it.
3. I am fed up with Dakota Fanning. She is unfortunetly going to be another actor to fall under the Kutcher Curse. (Kutcher Curse is my way of expressing my feelings toward an actor who will generally play characters with the same personality traits in all movies, I.E. Ashton Kutcher always being the good looking, not too smart hunk of meat. Dane Cook is slowly falling under this as a smooth talking smart mouth ladies man. In my opinion, Fanning will be playing little girls for the rest of her life.)
4. Character development. All I can really say is it lacked in it. Characterization was great (Whyborn's creepish Hunchback of Notre Dame/Igor stature), but really lacked in lessons learned or showing a change in the character.
5. The portrayal of the ghosts. Too gentle...too not had been neglected and left to die. If this were honestly a kid's movie, which would be an argument as to why they didn't look that way, why would the producers allow it to show old women wearing gemmed pasties and old bras?
6. Her blue hair. Not going to lie. Really pissed me off.
7. Outlaying Characters were portrayed very well. The old women really gave that sense of crazy and alone (stuffing their Scottish Terriers in angel outfits) and Mr. Bobo gave that over achieving feel from when he first said he was training mice. (Creeper moment though, he almost lands on Coraline in a very sexual manner, but rather lands and stands above Coraline in a worse way)
8. The Cat. Very well done. Giving it that mystical knowledge of what the dream world really is...very Cheshire.


Overall...six and a half out of ten would be my output.
Go see it if you are looking for some little smiles and a story to follow. This isn't a movie that will amaze you, but at least it won't bore you.

Monday Morning Minute

This is my youngest brother Conner Huntley Bross. He just recently turned 5. Happy Birthday Bud. I love you.
Over Fall Break when I last saw him, my dad had told me to ask Conner what his favorite animal was. It seems like a very broadening question for children: if you weren't a person, what would you like to be? Kids spend ages thinking of the possibilities. I always wanted to be a hawk so I could fly over everything. But that still took me a while to come to that conclusion. Conner's answer was given in an instant: A Skunk.
Why?
"So I could Skunk anyone when I wanted to"
Then laughed and ran off.


This is my other brother, Caeden Robert Bross. He is a little genius.
This is the kind of kid I see doing Algebra in Middle School. He (along with Conner) attends a slightly secluded school that really emphasizes individual strive alongside others. The way my dad put it, they walked into the school and saw a kid doing a handstand against a wall, reading a book upside down. It was immediately after seeing this that he turned to my step mom and said, "This is the place"

My step mom has recently begun a writing career, which I couldn't be more proud of. Just another person in the family to put a creative outlet into something to share.
She has written a few books from what I understand, and recently has been taken under wing by a potential publisher.
Jealous?
Very.
The story is going to be a ya (Young Adult...my dad simply insists on using little phrases). Plot line is very interesting. Teen girl moves to middle of no where....Vermont? I think it is Vermont. Anyway, her mom meets a man who she becomes interested in. Slight problem. He is what is known as a Soul Broker.
Think Wall Street for eternal state after your death.
I haven't read it, but the plot itself is enough to get me to read it. She has a few others in the works, including a vampire novel.

Is it just me, or are women authors really pumping out vampire stories? Andrew and I were at Barnes and Noble the other day after seeing Coraline, and I couldn't help but to feel awkward standing in the Teen book section.
Why?
The overwhelming amount of books dealing with a.) Vampire love stories b.) Chick flick inspired novels dealing with teen girls complaining about getting the man of their dreams in high school.
What happened male authors?
Your balls drop off?
Seriously. It looks like the only author that is manning up to literature is Stephen King. At least he can call out a bad writer when it is needed.
I would like to point out how sad I have become with literature.
R.L. Stine. Author of more than two hundred corny yet appealing horror novels to kids.
The book Dangerous Girls.
What the hell, man?
Did Stine decide Twilight needed some summer camp twist?
King has been dominating the horror genre without using things as commonly stereotyped as horror. He sets his stories in Middle of No Where, Maine, which I can first handedly say is a great place to.
Meyer had it coming...

Kindergarten

1,2,3 All Eyes On Me
That rule really doesn't apply anywhere else, does it?
It isn't as if you are in a conversation with someone who tends to talk over you or interrupt you mid sentence, then suddenly say," 1,2,3 All eyes on me!"
And they shut up
Or if you are trying to get someone's attention, but they are distracted...
Doesn't seem to work

Clean Up Your Own Mess
Even in a situational mess, it seems like the more you dwell in it, the more people you get shouting or pissed off at you
If you are expected to clean up what you spilled or broke, why do people get so infuriated when you try to clean up a mistake that you made to resolve it and take responsibility for it

Raise Your Hand
Oh my damn would this be great
Can you imagine the amount of frustration that outspoken or rude people would feel if this were to be put into effect in a social manner?
Obviously, we still do this in class
But outside of it is where it would become chaos
Going back to both the mess and the eyes on me thing, this would further prevent people barging into others business with great force
So instead of being able to just interrupt a meaningful conversation being held that can further resolve a conflict
They must sit and wait for one of the two to call on them before they can destroy that potential conversation

Dying Was A Breeze (6/26/07)

I hardly felt anything when I died. When the word "death" comes to mind, all ways of it seem very painful…but not for me…I didn't feel a thing. I felt pain up until my death…but dying was a breeze.

It was this girl…she killed me. Brutally murdered me. But I didn't feel anything…I don't really know why, though.

Her name was Belle…she had short, yet smooth black hair…eyes so hazel you could swear Autumn itself made them…perfect stature…no one would perceive her as a killer…

Her last words drowned my head in thoughts. It wasn't a simple goodbye, but a long, painful goodbye. I guess you could say she drowned me…

I remember our good times. The times when we could simply lie out in the grass under a blanket of darkness and stars…and nothing could separate us

Nothing did separate us

I brought her down with me

We're still together, in a sense…

The only problem is that she doesn't know that I'm dead…and I didn't know she was…

She thought that I wasn't able to see, so she took advantage of it

She spread the word of my death secretly, so she could better herself

When at the same time, I was killing her

Stabbing that bitch right in the back

Just as she did to me

Killing me

Well, I wasn't blind…and she should have known that

So…I killed her

Plain and simple

I took my daggers; poison tipped, freshly sharpened daggers, and stabbed her

Right up front

And she took it well

Easing her own pain by killing me off

Taking one of hers and stabbing me up front too

Who would have known that we killed each other?

We seemed to okay…seemed fine

But she stabbed my back

She lied

She framed me

She had it coming….

Words Beyond Words (2/22/08)

The words she heard stuck

"Loser"

"Flat"

"Nerd"

The words were sharpened to the core

They pierced her right to where it hurt

They went right through her heart

Right through her head

No

They hit her right in the ego

Right where everyone could see her scars

They took the words of every ditz

Of every Barbie

Of every plastic bitch

And shoved them into her face

But what do they expect from her?

That night

The razor meets the skin

She carves "Fuck Up" in every inch she can fit

She takes the straightening iron

The beauty's weapon of choice in the ongoing war of apparel

And clamps it around her wrist

Encasing herself in a burning sensation

Wanting to know what it's like to be "hot"

She takes the lipstick

The bullet in a bible of all the pretties

And smears it across her face

Wishing that the cosmetics would suddenly take action

And transform her into the midnight beauty

And she sits on her roof

Waiting for her prince

The same boy who takes the words of the savages

To come riding on his stallion

Waiting for a busted Mustang to pull up and take her away

Away to a desolate nightmare

A nightmare full of cheap pumps, sweat, and fake leather

A nightmare that the beauties get to live on any night of their choice

But the nightmare is nothing more than a dream to her

The next day

The words stick

"Slut"

"Whore"

"Fake"

The words struck her right where it hurt

She finally got what she wanted

But only form the scraps that the beasts gave her

Only allowing her to climb the ranks to kick her down again

Allowing her to climb the social ladder

Only to knock it out from beneath her

And her dream

Of a brilliant knight and his stallion

Came to her once upon a midnight

But only after the knight had drank his fill

And her dream soon turned to nightmare

As the knight took the wench in his grip

Breaking the already bruised and scarred wrists

And he unsheathed his sword

And broke down the doors to her castle

Throwing away all dignity of hers

That night

The lead met the skin

Her smile of grim dignity was the last image he would see

As she left his bare, used body in the cheap bathtub of the motel

The white linoleum stained crimson at the sound

And she carved "Fucker" into his palm

So when he exchanged a handshake with God

He would know exactly where he belongs

The next day

The words stuck

"Heartless"

"Ruthless"

"Insane"

They struck her

But no longer did the words hurt her

She had been bruised to the core

Numbed to the pain of an outer source

She was the only cause of her unhappiness now

And as the gate closed behind the young princess

The wenches said their goodbyes

Filled with "Fuck You" 's and "Stupid Bitch" 's

And as the princess took her seat in her throne

She said her final words to her humble servants

"Thanks"

Then midnight's lightning took her by storm

Burning her already scarred and burned wrists

Searing through the pain

As her body was purged from sin

With the ripping pain

A pain known as truth

Focus (1/20/09)

I wish I was normal

I wish I wouldn’t have to take pills to regulate a regular life

To be able to concentrate at all times, and not when my medicine begins to take effect

To be able to always have the best intentions for others,not when the pills are in use

To be able to focus towards the goal I am searching for inlife without needing to strain myself to pretend to be okay

That is all the pills do

They make me look okay

They alter my mind and my actions into what all of you are

They turn me into a person of capability

And without them

It all crashes

I wish I didn’t have to have this learning curse on me

So that people only believe that I listen to myself, not them

I wish I could focus on a simple fucking word every once and a while without being chemically dependent on it

I wish I could function normally instead of being this masked conformist who sits with the rest of you

I wish that things just came naturally to me like they do for you

How great it would be to sit there and not avert my eyes because of the pattern of the plastic imitation of wood on the desk

How great would it be to not have to cry out tears of frustration over something that everyone else understands

I would love nothing more than to wake up and just be able to walk out the door

Not have to give myself a stomach ache over the six miracle capsules I swallow every morning

I wish I didn’t have to hear, “Did you take your meds?”every time I do something wrong

I wish that this wasn’t as big of a problem as it is

I wish I was normal

Grey (6/18/07)

In a world of black and white

The girl is hard to see

Looking for Mr. Right

He is thought never to be

The first time he ever saw her

A simple glimpse he gave

His vision was but a blur

Shadowed by her wave

The two caught eyes with another

For only once to see

Color for one, while the other

Didn't exist to thee

The mirrored face among themselves

And simply turned out to be

Another book among the shelves

The face was simply me

So in this land of dark and grey

Not much is to see

If only she got her way

And she could be with me