I wish I wouldn’t have to take pills to regulate a regular life
To be able to concentrate at all times, and not when my medicine begins to take effect
To be able to always have the best intentions for others,not when the pills are in use
To be able to focus towards the goal I am searching for inlife without needing to strain myself to pretend to be okay
That is all the pills do
They make me look okay
They alter my mind and my actions into what all of you are
They turn me into a person of capability
And without them
It all crashes
I wish I didn’t have to have this learning curse on me
So that people only believe that I listen to myself, not them
I wish I could focus on a simple fucking word every once and a while without being chemically dependent on it
I wish I could function normally instead of being this masked conformist who sits with the rest of you
I wish that things just came naturally to me like they do for you
How great it would be to sit there and not avert my eyes because of the pattern of the plastic imitation of wood on the desk
How great would it be to not have to cry out tears of frustration over something that everyone else understands
I would love nothing more than to wake up and just be able to walk out the door
Not have to give myself a stomach ache over the six miracle capsules I swallow every morning
I wish I didn’t have to hear, “Did you take your meds?”every time I do something wrong
I wish that this wasn’t as big of a problem as it is
I wish I was normal
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